it was mutual

I had a date this weekend. I went to Italy. Suuuch a bummer, I know :). I didn’t want to do the whole tourist-y thing so I went to a couple smaller cities along the southern coast called Salerno and Positano. It was an amazing trip AND it was complete with the most wonderful date. He’s my best friend, and I just love him. Do you know him? His name is Jesus Christ. Technically, it probably seemed to everyone else that I just did a trip alone to “discover myself” or something cliché like that, but the truth is, I was far from being alone. And besides, I already know who I am. What I really wanted was to get to know the God I love even better and have him expand my understanding of who He is. For the first time in a long time, I got to see the beauty of intentional isolation. A time of reflection and rest. A time to re-recognize that I SUCK at planning my life. A time to learn how to enjoy the moment. But most of all, a time to talk with my precious Jesus...and not talk at Him. As you can see this is reallly long. So if you read the whole thing...how nice of you! Don’t worry, I won’t be offended if you don’t. But even with this length...it doesn’t cover half of what me and God talked about this weekend. But to tell it all would take like a gazillion pages. So I won’t. 

When I decided to study abroad in Europe, I knew that I absolutely HAD to go to Italy. Everything about the country seemed appealing to me...the people, the FOOD, the culture, the beautiful language and the unbelievable landscape. But for some reason...no one was available to go with me to the country on the weekend that I was able to go. A light bulb went off in my head, and I thought, “Hmmm, maybe I can make it a weekend getaway thing with Jesus!” And as excited as I was about it, I still kept asking people if they would like to come. But I guess Jesus was pretty excited about the idea of it too, because He made sure that there was literally no one else available...and therefore my attention was for sure going to be on Him alone. As soon as I booked the trip, I began praying for it. That God would reveal something amazing and needed to me, that He would teach me how to hear His voice in the moment, to appreciate silence, that I would continue to learn how to release any control I have and allow God to move in any way He sees fit. 
And, I most definitely did not have to ask Him twice. 

I got myself a massive gelato (technically it was a size small. I like the Italian definition of small.), and listened. Jesus taught me about love this weekend. Just so you know, I am convinced that I am His favorite. No big deal. 

That's what I'm talkin' about!!

I know, I know...God loves everyone equally...yadda yadda. Don’t worry, I am fully aware of that. Here’s the kicker though. I don’t think you’re supposed to feel like you are merely loved in a way that is equal to the person standing next to you. You should feel like you are the only person on the face of the planet that matters to God. That’s how loved you are. Did you know that? Pretty awesome, huh? That feeling, that knowledge of being loved is guaranteed to leave you in a state of wonderment and awe. But here’s the thing. Though yes, believe me, it is beyond wonderful to rest in this and to be in awe of this love...don’t let it stop you from coming right up to Him and talking to Him as if He were a good friend that you have here on earth. Christ also intended for us to have a relationship with Him that is comfortable. It’s a given that we don’t deserve such a love as this....we didn’t do anything. But regardless, I think Jesus does prefer it when we move past that realization, accept it, and simply begin to talk to Him. I believe that there is a bigger difference than we realize between having a relationship with Christ and having an intimate relationship with Him. 

God is beautiful

If you read some of the Psalms (I totes magotes read Psalm 18...it’s a good one, check it out, check it out!), in general you’ll notice how boldly David comes before the Lord. He’s expectant, he’s happy, he’s praising, he’s sad, he’s worshiping, he’s demanding....he is brutally honest. Here we have one man, who is comfortable with telling the God of the universe whether he’s upset or not and why. Not exactly formal...and not exactly always polite, no? Yet....David is called a man after God’s own heart. Why? Because he wasn’t afraid to believe God when God said that He loved him. With that mindset, you lose the need to grovel. Did you get that? You were not made so that God could have someone come and grovel at His feet. You realize that there is nothing you could possibly do to make God love you. Yet you then come to find that He does. He loves you like crazy. For no reason at all. Other than the fact that you are the only you that He’s ever going to get. Just as I am the only Janice He’s going to get. Think about that. The almighty, glorious, beautiful, and majestic God of the universe and the heavens is head over heels in love with you. And nothing on the face of the planet can change that. Forever. Pinky promise. Cool, huh? In case you didn’t know...that means that there is an unbelievable amount of freedom that comes through Christ Jesus. Take advantage of the freedom you have to walk right up to the Savior King and dump everything you’ve got on Him. I guarantee that He can handle it. Guarantee.  

He makes blue water too.

I feel like over this weekend, God challenged me to look at my relationship with Him. Do I really trust that He loves me? Am I solely validated by that? Am I happy to be fulfilled by that? 

He is glorious...after all, He made Positano

My conclusion? Uhhhh...heck YES! If there was any part of me that wasn’t sure before....it is definitely sure now. 

God has a real knack for knowing what makes you feel the most loved. I guess, that’s what happens when you create someone. One of the things that stuck out to me the most in Italy probably sounds like the dumbest thing ever to the world...but I don’t really care. If you didn’t know already...I hate rain. Hate it. It sucks. If you say you like it...I’ll probably think you’re lying. You get wet, uncomfortable, cold, wet, sometimes a bit smelly, oh...and did I mention, wet? It was supposed to rain BIG time in Southern Italy. And it definitely looked like it was going to when I got there. So I asked, “Hey God? Could you not make it rain this weekend? Please? It wouldn’t ruin my time here...but I prefer sun. I kinda want to see how blue the water gets.” Short. Sweet. Simple. Sincere. 

And you know what? It never rained on me. It rained in places around me...but never on me. In fact, it got so warm that I got to wear shorts and a t-shirt to Positano. Then I literally saw the giant rain clouds moving in the moment I left on the ferry. And later I find that it was raining like crazy in Salerno that whoooole day I was in Positano. It was like God held back those clouds just for me. Soooo cool! It wasn’t much. But it meant a lot and I found so much joy in that. (By the way..the water is, in fact, the bluest water I have ever seen in my life. And I have seen a LOT of ocean water). My challenge to you is to look for the details. You’ll be surprised at how much God does for you--how much He wants to do for you. Even if it seems like the most miniscule thing ever. 

God gave me some sun...

... and He also kept the rain away from me :)

Has anyone told you that you’re loved today? Because you most certainly are. 

i love field trips

Hola Todos! 

This last weekend was preettty jam packed. I think I'll do this post through pictures. Sound good?

Alright. Here we go:

We went to Sevilla

Sevilla has the third oldest cathedral in the world! It comes after the Vatican and some cathedral in England.

Christopher Columbus is in that box. Just so you know. 

We climbed up 34 flights to see this from the top of the cathedral. Don't worry. No stairs. They were ramps. They used to ride horses all the way up.

Plaza de Espana

I got to see Kristen!! And I met Mitzi on the plane a few weeks ago coming back from Barcelona. So fun to hang out with them.

Then I went to Italy. :)

Jethuth, Friendth, and Barthelona

So I have some friends. Their names are Kevin and Spencer. They are really really great. And they are studying abroad in Canterbury, England. BUT. This weekend. They were not in England, because they were in Barcelona with me! Best thing EVER. I don’t think I can really put into words how excited I was to see them. To go from seeing them basically every day during the school year (and summer) to nothing was strange, and we had a LOT to catch up on. I am so thankful that God blessed us with a bit of time to update each other on our lives abroad and to share what we’ve learned so far throughout our time here. I loved hearing their reflections on life in Canterbury. Though we are doing different things, God is showing each of us what it means to pursue Him wherever we are. It’s definitely a process. But it’s a good one.

Traveling with close friends has a few advantages. Ok, ALL advantages. Our time in Barcelona was literally the most jam-packed, yet non-rushed trip I have had in Europe so far. After the boys arrived, we got some tapas (croquetas are our favorite, in case you were wondering) and tried to get some sleep so we could get the most out of our day. Decision making for what we wanted to see was easy, because we all like the same things. And we wanted to see a LOT of stuff...so as soon as we woke up we bought metro passes (PTL for the metro) and went everywhere:

Ready to start the day!

Parque Güell (aka Tim Burton meets Disneyland)

We love Gaudi

Making new friends on the Metro

Arc de Triomf

Sagrada Familia

Torre Agbar

However, we did have a bit of a glitch at the end. Ok, a BIG glitch. We were sitting at the bus station waiting for the boys’ bus to take them to the airport. All of a sudden this weird, older, gross-looking man comes up to us and starts asking us questions about buying tickets or something. Fifteen minutes later...we realize that Kevin’s bag is GONE.  And the bus was leaving in 20 minutes. I think that while we were looking at the gross man, he had his friend swipe it from our feet. FROM OUR FEET. Yes. That is right. We were pissed. And frustrated. And frazzled. And shaking. And pissed. And dumbfounded. How the heck do you not get stuff stolen when you’re in the most populated area of the city (Las Ramblas and Mercat Boqueria), but yet you can get stuff stolen when it is pretty quiet right under our noses?? Yeah, we don’t know either. Spencer quickly got us all together to pray first before we made any moves (another advantage to traveling together). To be honest...how the heck am I supposed to praise Jesus for this!? But we prayed, and I’m sure that God cleared our minds a bit, because there is no way we should have been as efficient as we were. I still don’t know if we were supposed to learn some elaborate lesson, other than be UNBELIEVABLY careful (almost to the point of paranoia) with EVERYTHING at ALL times. But what I did learn is that having continuous praise on my lips for my all-mighty God is definitely a choice. And it is going to be a choice for everything and anything. So here is what I choose to see. Here is what I can and will praise my Jesus for:

1. Praise Jesus for Kevin and Spencer

2. Praise Jesus for a wonderful weekend

3. Praise Jesus that we were together

4. Praise Jesus that we are safe

5. Praise Jesus that it happened in a country where we could communicate with officials

6. Praise Jesus that Kevin had his wallet in his pocket and not in his backpack

7. Praise Jesus that Kevin ALSO had his passport in his pocket

8. Praise Jesus that Kevin had taken his SLR camera out of his backpack

9. Praise Jesus that Kevin has identity theft protection for his credit cards

10. Praise Jesus that Kevin could print out his boarding pass and bus ticket in store right across the street so that they didn’t miss their flight

11. Praise Jesus that nothing of insane value was stolen

12. Praise Jesus that Kevin got a copy of all the statements he needed to get back into England

13. Praise Jesus for the stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, horrible man who stole the backpack and taught us to be even more anal than we already were (I’m still human)

14. Praise Jesus for being a God who loves us, and who desires to give us peace and rest even during a time we want to panic.

It’s like having the biggest relief in the crappiest situation ever. Minus that event, it was an amazing and fun-filled weekend. But dear Jesus...PLEASE LET US NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN. EVER. 

reunited and it feeeeels so gooood!!

This last Friday, we had an activity to go see the Alhambra in Grenada. If you didn’t know, the Alhambra is a gigantic palace (technically it’s like a collection of palaces. Plural, I know). Grenada was the last Spanish city under Arab influence before King Fernando and Queen Isabella took it over for good. The last Spanish sultan (named Boabdil) basically signed a contract with the King and Queen promising to leave Spain as long as they didn’t destroy the Alhambra. (My old roommate Miranda told me that Boabdil gave up his control easily because he was gay and didn’t have a successor, so therefore he essentially didn’t care too much for what happened to Grenada as long as his pride and joy, the Alhambra, didn’t get destroyed). The Alhambra is ridiculously beautiful. It is very apparent which parts of it were designed by Arab architects and which were designed by Christian ones. The detailing of the Arab designs were insanely intricate and beautifully detailed, but most of their efforts were used to create elaborate looking decorations for the inside of rooms. The Christians, on the other hand, had grander designs on the outsides of buildings and a more simplistic look on the inside. I absolutely loved every part of it. The guide did an amazing job of explaining things to us...but after awhile she just referred to us as “Americanos locos!!!! Vamos!!!” (Crazy Americans! Let’s go!” Every activity we have, we do an amazing job of being tourists. It’s awesome. 

Since we all got a free bus ride to Grenada, everyone in the Córdoba program stayed for the weekend. Instead of staying at a hostel with everyone else, I stayed Miranda’s piso (apartment). My wonderful roommate from last year and her Spanish roommates were so nice as to open up their home for me to stay in for the weekend. Miranda is studying at the University of Grenada for the year, so it was a huge blessing to have her show me around her city. It was really great to catch up with her and share our reflections and observations of ourselves, of our programs, and most of all what God has been teaching us. I knew that my community in Spain would be nothing like what it is in the States, but this last weekend was a time of community that was just enough to refresh me a bit more before going back to Córdoba. Let me tell you, Miranda has an extremely observant, loving, and amazing perspective on life, on Spain, and on people. I am so stoked to have her as a sister in Christ! My other favorite part was probably bar hopping. I know, I know it sounds weird. Janice? Bar hopping? What?! Haha I feel like I would never be one to bar hop...but it isn’t about the drinks...it’s about the tapas. And they are delicious. I LOVE tapas. Because Grenada is such a student filled city, the government subsidizes the tapas, so if you order a drink, the tapas are free. At. Every. Bar. Cool, huh? It’s the best concept I’ve ever heard of. She took me to all her favorite bars and we just kept going until we were full. It’s the best way to get dinner in Spain if you’re going to eat out in my opinion. We also went to the botellón there (it’s basically a place where Spanish students just stand around to talk and drink. Totally not rowdy at all). Not a botellón...THE botellón. In Grenada, the police got tired of having to tell people that they weren’t allowed to drink in public places, so they just built an insanely large parking lot for everyone to gather in to drink. It is massive. I am talking about thousands of students every night of the week. (definitely not the same in Córdoba) The way they party there is a really long process.  A lot of times they start out at someone’s piso, and then go to get tapas together, and then around midnight they head off to the botellón for a few hours, THEN go to the discotecas around 2 or 3 in the morning, and then get home around 6am. I will be the first to say that I absolutely do not have the energy to keep up with Spanish nightlife. I’m good with the tapas. Anyways, Miranda wanted to show me the botellón, which is actually amazing to go to if you want to learn real Spanish. It is a great way to practice. Everyone is friendly and willing to talk. Miranda’s rule is that she has to make a new friend every time she goes, so we made her a new friend and called it a night. We ended my visit the next morning with Churros con Chocolate (of course) and then it was back to Córdoba for me. It was a wonderful getaway weekend for me, but not gonna lie, I did enjoy returning home to my Spanish family. They are certainly lovely to come home to. 

Miranda and I in Albaicin

Everything is prettier at Sunset